Some Guiding Principles for Eating while Traveling with Children

I don't normally complain on this blog. But there might be an unmistakable tone of complaint on this post. For it is here that I wish to outline Some Guiding Principles for Eating while Traveling with Children.

Note the two McDonald's Restaurant stops within one Turnpike exit of one another. 

*ahem

Whereas I am a father who just completed a two-week period of vacation with kids and

Whereas just yesterday I drove with said family on a trip home from Pittsburgh and

Whereas I have a combined 20 years experience traveling with hungry children and

Whereas I have been teaching for nearly twenty years and have been on at least that many trips with hungry adolescent students and

Whereas I am a former employee of the food service industry

Be it hereby RESOLVED that . . .

One should not stop for lunch after 11:30 am and before 1:00 pm and

One should question the wisdom of offering a 9- and 11-year-old the choice of where to eat and

One should especially question that wisdom if the answer is McDonalds and

One should especially question that wisdom if said McDonalds is attached to a gasoline station and

One should expecially question that wisdom if said McDonalds is located across the street from a pleasant sit-down chain such as Bob Evans

. . . or Hoss's and

One should question the wisdom of a child making an order that asks said McDonalds to "hold" a condiment (i.e. ketchup) from one's burger, given that McDonalds model is built so particularly to efficiency and speed.

Thereby this parent resolves to be more active and less passive in plotting out meals at restaurants while driving on the final day of a vacation.